I have a bunch of BPALs, but I honestly don't reach for them often lately. These are some examples that you could easily smell in person at a dept store or Sephora or Ulta, if you have those nearby. You could even ask one of the counter people to show you a couple of fragrances that have softer or sweeter patchouli, as a way to test how your nose reacts.

BPAL is much harder to guess at, but I'll try adding another comment about those later.

I really like Nomade - it's available in dept stores, and it feels "grown up" to me.
https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Chloe/Nomade-48434.html

I don't like Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, but it's not because of the patchouli. I think it's too sweet for me, or else it's the rose. There's been a big wave of "fruit-chouli" perfumes in the last few years that Coco Mad (not to be confused with original Coco) sort of made popular.
https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Chanel/Coco-Mademoiselle-611.html

Victor & Rolf Flowerbomb is another floral patchouli that's a bit sweet and has rose. I don't hate it, but I don't like it. Extremely popular:
https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Viktor-Rolf/Flowerbomb-1460.html

I love how Nest Black Tulip starts - it's a true fruit-chouli - but as it dries down, the patchouli gets a bit funky.
https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Nest/Black-Tulip-42889.html